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Bob Rivers — What if God Smoked Cannabis?
Album: Twisted Tunes Vol 2
Avg rating:
5.6

Your rating:
Total ratings: 142









Released: 1995
Length: 2:39
Plays (last 30 days): 0
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If God had long hair
And a goatee,
And if his eyes looked pretty glazed...
If He looked spaced out
Would you buy his story?
Would you believe he had an eye infection?
And yeah, yeah, God he looks baked
And yeah, yeah, God He smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Hit the bung like some of us?
Drove a tie-dyed microbus,
And he subscribed to Rolling Stone?
When God made this place,
In the beginning,
Did He plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve,
So they'd be hungry for the apple that the snake
Was always offering?
And yeah, yeah... God rolls great,
And yeah, yeah, God he smells good,
And yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah...
What if God smoked cannabis?
Do you suppose he had a buzz
When he made the platypus
When he created earth, our home?
Does He like Pearl Jam or the Stones?
And do you think He rolls His own
Up there in heaven on the throne?
And when the saints go marching home,
Does he just sit and smoke a bone?
Comments (88)add comment
Butthurt relgio-types.  More please.
Posted 8 years ago by Jota    [ Reply ]
 jennyole wrote:
OMG am I in Jr. High again- please no more of this. Rather listen to Cheech & Chong again. Sister Mary Elephant. that's funny

 
I KNOW!  UGGGH.  Stoners have such juvenile humor. And they eat BIZARRE thing, which they think is hilarious.   Ever notice how they love to sit and watch cartoons and eat shit like Captain crunch or Fritos all day?  I once watched a bunch of baked idiots make a MEAL out of saltines and condiments—ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce—at 3 AM, after smoking weed all night.  I. REST. MY. CASE.


Posted 8 years ago by dimar    [ Reply ]
The very premise of an all-enlightened power beyond hunan comprehension needing or desiring to alter its reality for the sake of fun and diversion is preposterous!

This hackneyed parody is based on so flawed a premise that even this guy, no stranger to cannabis, finds it too absurd on its face to be anything other than suck-o-barf-o. Worst song on RP. Categorically. 
Posted 8 years ago by Wilfrue    [ Reply ]
 LowPhreak wrote:

Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.

 
Wrong.  I'm NOT a religious nutjob.  Not religious at all.  Just don't think it's funny. It's stupid. Newsflash:  Chronic stoners are just as annoying and stupid as chronic alcoholics, and I have smoked weed occasionally, and I do drink. I just make it a point not to flaunt it all over the place because NOBODY thinks you're awesome because you can flick a bic and blaze one or ten.  Not even other stoners.  They just want to share your weed.  Quit smoking and see how many friends you have.  #stonersarefickleasfuck
Posted 8 years ago by dimar    [ Reply ]
 LowPhreak wrote:

Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.

 
Exactly!  The perma raging religious nut-jobbers are out in force pretending not to be perma raging but we all know they are.
Posted 8 years ago by Jota    [ Reply ]
S T U P I D.  I'm all for legalizing, and I don't care if people use, but I get so sick of the stoner rhetoric.  You smoke weed?  WHO GIVES A SHIT?
 
Posted 8 years ago by dimar    [ Reply ]
Did Weird Al produce this? :-)
Posted 8 years ago by bseib    [ Reply ]
 zborgerd wrote:
Only stoners would think this crap is funny.
 
Only religious nutjobs would not think it's funny.
Posted 8 years ago by LowPhreak    [ Reply ]
OMG am I in Jr. High again- please no more of this. Rather listen to Cheech & Chong again. Sister Mary Elephant. that's funny
Posted 8 years ago by jennyole    [ Reply ]
Never heard this before and I think it's hilarious! 
Posted 8 years ago by handyrae    [ Reply ]
yes {#Frown}FunkyZen wrote:
Sucks really, really bad.
 


Posted 8 years ago by 1wolfy    [ Reply ]
God-awful
Posted 8 years ago by balinor    [ Reply ]
Aha!  The god botherers are out and voting 1.  Their poor, little all powerful god can't take a joke.
Posted 8 years ago by Jota    [ Reply ]
Really?
Posted 8 years ago by andy    [ Reply ]
Bob Rivers rocks. Play some of his classic christmas tunes.
Posted 20 years ago by Art_Carnage    [ Reply ]
omigod! THANKS for this! the real song is SOOOO lame, even for an agnostic like me... and i otherwise LIKE j.o....
Posted 20 years ago by bluedot    [ Reply ]
this is a retarded cover of a retarded song. once is tolerable - but i've heard this more than once.
Posted 21 years ago by PattonFever    [ Reply ]
Only stoners would think this crap is funny.
Posted 21 years ago by zborgerd    [ Reply ]
Yes novelty songs run old real quick, but damn, this one made me laugh out loud. And yes she does, we rolled on last night right before sitting down to a movie!
Posted 21 years ago by ala_kavorka    [ Reply ]
Eul0gy wrote:
By far, the best thing to come out of SNL in the last 20 years. not to mention one of the best re-writes of a bad song ever.
They used this on SNL? Guess it wouldn't surprise me, but just for people wondering, Bob Rivers is a local DJ in Seattle. He's been doing these parodies for years and has several CDs. There's at least 4 Christmas CDs out alone. Basically like Weird Al except he tries to find people that sound like the original singer. They have one guy that does a near perfect Bon Scott from AC/DC. This isn't one of my favorites of his.
Posted 21 years ago by Roto    [ Reply ]
which way to church?
Posted 21 years ago by LisaRCT    [ Reply ]
Posted 21 years ago by indigo_xia    [ Reply ]
This old foagy is trying to say "Amen, I also liked the original" while trying to figure tag lines, emoticons, etc. HayesJ TreborG2 wrote:
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Posted 21 years ago by hayesj    [ Reply ]
Sucks really, really bad.
Posted 21 years ago by FunkyZen    [ Reply ]
TreborG2 wrote:
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Posted 21 years ago by hayesj    [ Reply ]
Junk
Posted 21 years ago by Johnski333    [ Reply ]
mafe wrote:
Doesn't he? :-k
My thoughts too... except I was thinking, "Doesn't she?"
Posted 21 years ago by newwavegurly    [ Reply ]
Boring, boring one-joke song. This novelty crap gets played WAY too much!
Posted 21 years ago by Dinsdale    [ Reply ]
made me laugh. that's worth a bunch in my book.
Posted 21 years ago by nook    [ Reply ]
Platypus wrote:
almost as bad as the original.
Hey, at least it's an improvement.
Posted 21 years ago by rgrace    [ Reply ]
Platypus wrote:
almost as bad as the original.
Hey now..... :iamwith: just because it questions when the holiest of holys made you... ;) Seriously.. I liked the original.. this I find irritating only because it wouldn't have been ANYTHING without the other song.. it couldn't have stood on its own merrits.. perhaps if done by Weird Al, with an accordian... maybe then it would have been funnier.. but as it is.. sung seriously and only for shock value ... I find just plain 'tupid .... 'tupid is when its so stupid you miss pronouncing the s.
Posted 21 years ago by TreborG2    [ Reply ]
Doesn't he? :-k
Posted 21 years ago by mafe    [ Reply ]
By far, the best thing to come out of SNL in the last 20 years. not to mention one of the best re-writes of a bad song ever.
Posted 21 years ago by Eul0gy    [ Reply ]
Let's stick to the music. Even that seems to be suffering of late.
Posted 21 years ago by fluorophore    [ Reply ]
haven't heard it in a long time. nice! :) :) :)
Posted 21 years ago by bakedjake    [ Reply ]
Posted 21 years ago by rgj13    [ Reply ]
:p That is such a funny song. Perfect for Friday afternoon at work.
Posted 22 years ago by pixiegirl    [ Reply ]
Great song... made me laugh
Posted 22 years ago by Heathen    [ Reply ]
almost as bad as the original.
Posted 22 years ago by Platypus    [ Reply ]
Maybe those Catholic Sundays as a child would have been a lot different
Posted 22 years ago by justlistening    [ Reply ]
I'm a Christian and I love this song. It doesn't offend me in the least. It's very funny and it's edgier and rocks compared to Joan's version. Which I thought was kindof wimpy! Cool song Bill. I gave it a 9 because it made me laugh. Whether He smokes cannibas or not I think even God would find this funny. :D
Posted 22 years ago by utopiapark    [ Reply ]
These guys have made a bunch of hilarious songs, and what amazes me most is how good they are at finding singers that sound a lot like the original artists, like Alanis Morrisette, Cris Cornell etc.
Posted 22 years ago by loveslave    [ Reply ]
God, is this song ever dumb!
Posted 22 years ago by deepwoodskev    [ Reply ]
She\'s gotta run out of one liners soon. Dot
Posted 22 years ago by Dotman    [ Reply ]
If I say I like this will I go to hell?
Posted 22 years ago by Willie    [ Reply ]
Even with different lyrics, this song is equally annoying.
Posted 22 years ago by squarepixel    [ Reply ]
Worst thing I\'ve ever heard on RP, and the first time I can remember just turning off the player for a while. In reading the comments, I do have to laugh at the (many) people saying \"lighten up\" based on 1 or 2 comments ... kind of ironic I think.
Posted 22 years ago by Harvest    [ Reply ]
Originally Posted by lily33: .idealist, you really do need to lighten up, francis.......and light up while you're at it.
ROFLMAO Good one, Lily! :D ;)
Posted 22 years ago by MissJenn    [ Reply ]
Posted 22 years ago by Videll    [ Reply ]
Can\'t remember actually wanting to hear a joke song more than once. Funny, tho. And funny how the actual message is identical in both versions.
Posted 22 years ago by ScottFromWyoming    [ Reply ]
Originally Posted by the_jake: I can't believe I missed this song again. That will teach me to walk away from RP.
Finally got to hear this one. Very funny.
Posted 22 years ago by the_jake    [ Reply ]
I hated the Joan Osborne song. Very lame lyrics that got way overhyped. Halleluja for this little ditty!
Posted 22 years ago by poodha    [ Reply ]
I\'m biased in favor of this guy\'s work since he and I crossed paths at a college radio station in Connecticut (WNHU 88.7 FM), way back when. Bob has recorded some very funny things over the years. Even as a young punk he had a presence and obvious talent.
Posted 22 years ago by chasboco    [ Reply ]
Who would have thought this song would have created so much controversy?! I think both sides need to lighten up a bit. The song is a joke. Literally! It\'s not a great artistic endeavor, it\'s just a goof. Like any joke, not everyone will find it funny. And I don\'t think it demonstrates any lack of disrespect for Joan - after all it\'s mostly her work, there\'s just a twist on it, which is the joke. Of course like any joke, it\'s only funny the first time or two you hear it...
Posted 22 years ago by Alchemist    [ Reply ]
I can\'t believe I missed this song again. That will teach me to walk away from RP.
Posted 22 years ago by the_jake    [ Reply ]
Cute the first couple of times - less than entertaining now. Time to drop it from the regular play list. :roll:
Posted 22 years ago by travisd    [ Reply ]
I wasn\'t too fond of the original. This is kinda funny.
Posted 22 years ago by catsoup    [ Reply ]
I\'m sorry but this was just juvenile.
Posted 22 years ago by segueman    [ Reply ]
Originally Posted by yellowdog: Gross! This stinks! Please. Poor Joan.
Poor Joan? Would ya believe she didn't write the original - her guitarist did - and she didn't want to put the song on the album. She didn't really like the song. Her producer talked (forced?) her into it.
Posted 22 years ago by ChrisinIndy    [ Reply ]
Idealist, parody is an art form in and of itself. Take Wierd Al, for example. He, his band, and the engineers who record and mix his music go to great lengths to mimic the original song - they don\'t just \"rip out the vocal track\" and record their own. They perform the entire song. What\'s the old cliche... Imitation is the highest form of flattery? Furthermore, Weird Al always gets permission from the original song\'s writer/performer before parodying it (though legally he doesn\'t need to - parody is protected under copyright law). And Most artists are quite amused and honored when Al parodies one of their songs.
Posted 22 years ago by ChrisinIndy    [ Reply ]
Gross! This stinks! Please. Poor Joan.
Posted 22 years ago by yellowdog    [ Reply ]
as if the original song wasn\'t bad enough. now this. this is perfect for \"wild and crazy\" morning radio shows. RP is above this.
Posted 22 years ago by Platypus    [ Reply ]
Too funny! I wasn\'t paying attention in the beginning. Thought this was just a serious cover of the original, then I stared listening to the words. Thanks for the laugh!
Posted 22 years ago by Cy    [ Reply ]