To The You Of Ten Years Ago, Now
by Dora Malech

Never fear. I know the difference between
arteries and ardor, arbor and treed,
my bower and a weak-kneed need, a harbor
where one might moor tonight and a port worth
the oars' effort to come ashore for, a bit
part and the serpent's gravid apple. I won't
flatter myself first or lasting, or
presume to fast and feint a martyr, making
mockery of sacrifice, fatten
for some sweet slaughter. I might believe that I'm
not on your mind. On your body? Sure.
That said, your body has a few ideas
so bright that we might meet some night and render
a dark room light as the last day before
the world ends, that doom that was supposed to dawn
today, but by now, hours worn on and in,
we know there's no such luxury as fine
as that finality for now. For now,
at least, I'll have to kiss apocalypse
goodbye, resign myself to this more mundane
pain, the solace of the solstice, year's
earliest sunset and its longest night.
I try to catch that fade of color with,
without a flash. Both tries prove terrible.
The horizon smudges up against the sky's blur
like a child's heavy-handed landscape
and inept erasure. They'll have to do.
The pictures that I have of you will never
do you justice, either, neither a camera's
snap nor some synaptic crackle long
elapsed can come remotely close to holding
you. How else would you have it? You need
never fear. I need you, but I only need you
where you are: there, never far, never near.