Elvis Aaron Presley, January 8, 1935 – August 16, 1977

Today is my father's 79th birthday... everybody in my mushrooming multitude of churches worships you, father... today, we will be very Elvish— elves for Elvis...

hope everyone in paradise has a marvelous birthday this year...

love you and miss you so much, father... we all look forward to your eternal return when you will sing like an angel for the world once more...  amor fati...


 

I know you cannot resist furtively glancing at my urbane and debonair posts... I am grateful for your avid unbridled adulation... as crabby as you are, I still love you more than crabs... I pray that aliens from the planet Zung do not prey upon you... keep a chainsaw handy...

everybody in my mushrooming multitude of churches be dancing buck ass naked all across the holy moly world like bowlegged gypsy muleskinners and B.F. Skinner... we love this splendiferous song... love sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll...
 

Huey Lewis And The Nudes — I Want Tons of New Drugs


 

Aliens from the planet Zung have traveled at warp speed to Earth...  the space aliens are infiltrating pure strain humans on our home planet...  these aliens — called Zungians — seek to turn human beings into a cheap source of protein...

you can spot Zungians because they have crossed purple eyes, and they have giant spotted ears...  they also have an extra arm hanging out from the back of their necks...  if you see any such suspicious creatures who are eating human bodies, call the appropriate authorities immediately!  Amen!

EDIT:  an alien from the planet Zung has eaten one of my wives...  there is nothing left of her but her fingers...

I grabbed a chainsaw when I heard her screaming, but I got there too late to save her...  I chopped the Zungian into little pieces, and threw chunks into the ocean to feed the sharks...  it's the end of the world as we know it...